An
unspecified number of sun cycles ago (about two years), yours truly
and fellow Internet weeby friendo Ross Faries attempted to construct
a bizarre hybrid between a board game and a table-top RPG themed
after anime with a high school setting. The basic premise of said
game had a fun gimmick I concocted during a stormy night of unbridled
inspiration - or, as the doctor called it, a psychotic episode. In
essence: there are twenty available classes for players' selection,
all of which based off the most well-known and obnoxiously
omnipresent stereotypes in the history of the Japan-originated
medium; each class is assigned to a number on the traditional
twenty-sided die which the potential players would have to roll in
order to randomly pick a character. As for the content of the game
itself, that's where we hit the proverbial snag. The project didn't
really move beyond the pre-pre-pre-alpha phase and, in the end, we
just ended up playing a single throwaway session along our group of
friends with made-up rules and story. According to my fellow weeby
friendo Ross Faries, the various blurbs for the character selection
of this hypothetical board/RPG abomination are some of my most funny
and witty writing to date. In light of that, I've decided to share
them publicly for your reading enjoyment. May this supposedly
“hysterical” and “satirical” descriptions of thrashy,
overused high school anime stereotypes elate your day.
